it's taking forever to get to Tuesday, seems like.  the closer it gets, the more scared I am that it will be negative.  all that hard work for nothing, and we will have reached the end of the line.  I almost got out our adoption info the other day, too. there'd be a period of mourning, no doubt, then we'd pull ourselves up by our bootstraps like before.  I guess I'm really just trying to protect myself if the outcome isn't what we want and so fervently wish for.